A plank driver's perspective?
In my early 20s learning to fly I was bullet proof. The things I tried in Decathlons teaching myself aerobatics don't bare thinking about for very long...I also 'got away' with a couple of emergencies in my first 300 hrs.
Approaching 1000 hrs, bush flying C185s and Islanders in PNG highlands, about to change jobs, about to get married I was VERY aware that I was in dangerous territory...That was my first year working full time in the industry and I had already lost 6 friends + 1 aquaintance in aircraft accidents...3 pilot mates that year in PNG and 2 non pilot pax in a C210 crash back in Oz and my first Instructor + the chap that did my initial IR in a CAA Bonanza midair with a glider in Oz.
As the years went on I lost on average nearly 3 friends every year I flew in PNG...38 over 13.5 years. Air America didn't lose pilots like that...and we were doing the same flying in the same aircraft but without the Pathet Lao complicating things....much higher mountains though.
I had a few more engine failures but that just made me comfortable that I knew how I reacted under that sort of pressure...I had a couple of REAL close calls with weather and terrain (one a zoom climb in cloud in a Twin Otter with trees flicking past the wheels < 30' away...not caused by flying in IMC below LSALT btw way...caused by drizzle turning instantly to cloud when at very low level in mountainous terrain crossing a gap in bad weather) that left me shaking.
When I finally went airline flying I was very aware that I had 'got away' with something for a very long time...but also that I would never experience as much fun in my daily work again...but also that there was simply very little likelyhood of surviving that style of flying indefinately.
Now I crisscross the world in a Boeing widebody and it is about 30 minutes of fun interspersed with 8-12 hrs of....not fun
I own a Bonanza but where I used to happily fly a C185 around steep jungle clad mountains in all sorts of weather I am uncomfortable in my Bo at night over anything but dead flat terrain. I think that is purely a function of getting used to the increased redundancy of a widebody jet...I have flown my Bo at night in weather and while I enjoyed the challenge I also felt...exposed.
After 12000 hrs I still get a big enough buz from my job that just sliding into my seat puts a smile on my face even if I was in not the best mood before that...
my seat in my Bo puts on a bigger smile than the 'company's' seat in the Boeing
I was thinking about taking my Bonanza up to PNG for a 'cook's tour/busman's holiday' next year for a fun trip down memory lane while burning up a mth or two annual leave...but I realised that I wouldn't...because I worried that having survived it once I was taking a significant risk for the sake of a trip down memory lane that will probably sour the memories I have anyway...and now I am a single parent so what right do I have to take that risk...so instead I will go somewhere interesting in Oz and several weeks in Vanuatu staying with a mate out there and diving/sailing etc....the PNG trip would have been fun though....
Aint life a paradox