If its a Ladies Guest night, try not to start your post-dinner top table joke with "Does anyone mind if I tell a paedophile joke?". Should you decide to do that though, try not to interpret the deafening silence as a good sign that you should go ahead and actually tell a paedophile joke.
Oh, and if you are detailed to march in the standard, try not to forget, and stand behind your seat before grace wondering why the Sqn boss has just passed you a note saying "please pop up to the top table for a moment" (or words to that effect).
Beagle, its not that difficult to work out who he is, really, is it? Given his name is by the story and there is a picture of him..