S'right Cougar, you tell 'em. These old has-beens know nothing even after 10, 15, or 20 years here. How many of them have ever been attacked or hijacked. Load of bunkum, rumours, apocryphal stories. Our estates are, as you say, protected by the best security available. Many of our security operatives have received up to 2 weeks training and carry batons made of only finest African hardwoods. They have all signed contracts of employment so that in the event of running away when attacked or failing to confront an overwhelming force of heavily armed militants with their superb iroko batons, they may face severe disciplinary action.
There are rumours that Bristow or Aero have had helicopters threatened with hijack or actually getting hijacked, but these, of course, are the drunken delusions of a rag-bag collections of old lushes whose services we are anxious to dispense with once we can persuade enough people to come here. We have every confidence that with our new superb local allowance which amounts to around 10 ponds in hard sterling for food, for every day you spend on site, we will soon be in a position to turn people away - such will be the demand.