Wing,
Good to hear you are listening to people now. Couple of things though. Coming on here and stating you spend the day crying etc etc is not good. You say you instruct, but are you REALLY in a fit enough state to instruct? I would suggest not. I don't want to sound rude in any way, but you should really go and see a doctor as it sounds like you are suffering from stress. Get that out of the way and things will look a lot better for you and the feelings of negativity will go.
Coming on here and telling everyone how crap life is is not helping. Trust me mate, I meet people a lot worse off than you everyday and they still amaze me with how upbeat they can be.