Scene: BBC news : disaster somewhere hostile a long way away. Politician saying that "Developments are being monitored" and "There has been a year on year increase in defence spending. In real terms".
Scene: Commcen. Signal coming off teleprinter: Middle of the night. Orderly Officer decides it can wait til morning.
Scene: The "machine" springs into life. People called but not answering mobiles, safe in the knowledge that it'll be another daft callout. Eventually go in - Argument with wifey at doorway. Small child wonders who that strange man was.
Scene: Techs prepping Alberts: None available, all on Ops or u/s. Wokkas: None available, all on Ops. Tristars: Loads of em. All u/s though. Stewards rush to stores for extra issue of 15 desert flying suits each, just in case. Stores being loaded onto pallets then mislaid by movers.
Scene: Mission planning. Flt Ops file flight plan to wrong airfield.
Scene: BBC News: "Phew! What a scorcher!! Hottest july since 1911 blah blah blah....And finally tonight, some army hercules, assisted by Royal Navy Chinooks left for Um Bongo today where hostility is increasing.
Scene: Commcen - Mission...force protection...Immediate new IRT syllabus drawn up. Everyone to do Short Service commission in the Army, once a year, as training.
Scene: Techs prepping E3s: Sandwiches loaded. F3s: local scrap metal merchant contacted. GR9s: then realise all are on Ops anyway. Aircraft being bombed up. Jags: plan several LL routes round the UK to burn any excess fuel that might have been lying around.
Scene: Briefing. Multitude of high level meddlers and long screwdriver wielders get stuck in. Actual flying crews can't get into briefing room due to number of meddlers there before them.
Scene: Dawn takeoff. Check in as 4 ship, taxy as a 3 etc etc
Scene: AAR en route rolexed. Spec aircrew VC10 navigator claiming his crew rest was not adequate as he could just about hear the airport from his luxury apartment and it disturbed him.
Scene: E3 detects threat. Galley oven No2 u/s
Scene: GR9 deals with threat. Lineys deliver hot meals courtesy of crewroom microwave
Scene: Rescue mission detail. Hercs arrive. Evacuees complain about noisy freight bay and uncomfortable seats. Happy rescuees ask where they can file compensation claims for the loss of their holidays in aforementioned war torn republic.
Scene: Rescuees meeting family and lawyers at Brize etc.
Scene: Tea and medals for all the big knobs who thought it up. Continuous detachments, shortage of kit, etc etc ad infinitum for the actual crews.
Scene: RAF News does 5 page article on C17. Two page article on F3. Beaming scrap merchant.