Apostrophe Abuse Alert!!
Flailing aboiut with a sword or other mediaeval relic attempting to play the part of an amateur sabreur might get you mistaken for some mononeuronic clown of the Umpty-Umpth Queens Own Chinless Pwancers if you're not careful!
I was always briefed that the noise of a champoo bottle being opened should be as discrete as a duchess farting. Pops and bangs were for the lower orders.
Perhaps you could find a convenient ship to break it against? Better not use one of the Grey Funnel Line's little things though - you might put a dent in it!