G_STRING,
Flying is difficult. It is not a natural activity, for most of us. It requires a combination of many different sorts of skills, all of which require practice. On top of that, it's expensive, so many of us can't even really afford the practice.
What you're experiencing is normal. It's also very common. Loads of us have problems finding airfields and doing basic nav. Why else is GPS so popular?
I know what you mean about being in dread of being 'found out'. So does another PPRuNer with way more experience than me - Genghis the Engineer. He posted something about that recently, about fearing that the next check or exam would be the one where someone realised he should never be flying in the first place. It's in a thread on Rotorheads somewhere; sorry, don't have time to search for it.
I suspect that far more people feel this way than admit to it. That's probably epecially true among men, although I know that sort of generalisation is never entirely accurate. But women seem to find it slightly easier to admit they're not perfect, at least to each other.
Anyway, you ask what I do. I don't know, really. I suppose I've learned to accept myself, and the way I am, and not fight it. I'll never be a natural pilot. I've never done anything in the minimum hours yet, and I probably never will. But does it really matter? I know that if I practice I can get there. I only know that because I've done it so many times. And I don't really have a lot of determination. When I was doing my CPL and instructor's rating, I decided that if it was too hard, and I really couldn't do it, then I'd pack it in...but at least I'd know. I find that giving yourself permission to fail, so long as you've tried your best, is really important. I know it goes against everything you hear about going for it and thinking positively, but it seems to work for me.
It's somewhat like learning to hover. Everyone finds this extraordinarily hard. You have three controls, which all move different ways, all affect each other, and all have a lag of a different amount. Most students can only learn in very short sessions of a few minutes at a time. You can only do it if you stay relaxed, even though you're concentrating 110%. Once you get tired, you get tense, and you can't do it. People with drive and determination are driven crazy by it; they want to go on, to do more, but it doesn't work. But if you accept the way the process works, and keep struggling to hover over a football-sized field, gradually the fields you need get smaller, and then it all clicks...till the wind picks up and you go through it all again on another level. You can't fight it, but if you keep going without expecting or demanding anything, you learn to do it.
I think maybe that works for more things in flying, and also in life generally.
I don't know what else to tell you, because I really don't know the answer to your question. I read the things you said about me in amazement. I still don't really feel that I know very much. But if any of that helps, feel free to use it.
And it does get easier the longer you fly...though not all that much!
Take care,
Whirly.