Diary of a Dubai Summer (by a Pom Expat)
April 31st
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Dubai, UAE! Now this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
May 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
May 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
June 10th
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
July 20th:
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat ****. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant **** blow dryer!! And it's hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged 500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
July 30th:
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody 2,000,000 Dirhams house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
August 4th:
It's 45 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost 2000 Dirhams and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid **** place.
August 8th:
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to **** throttle him. **** heat! By the time I get to work the car's radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin **** wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
August 9th:
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my **** arse was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my **** arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a **** recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and **** sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn **** place? Water rationing will be next, so my 5,000 Dits worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the **** pool. Even the palms can't live in this **** heat.
August 14th:
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 48 today. Now the air-conditioner's gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $7,000 Dirham mortgage payment to bail my arse out of jail for assaulting the stupid f***er. F**k Dubai! What kind of a sick demented **** idiot would want to live here?