Even if does tread on your ego
I think you are missing my point. This has nothing to do with ego, but with confused lines of communication and responsibility. Here the responsibility for clarity, and for the passengers, lies with the captain until somebody explicitly takes that from him/her (on grounds that he finds credible and consistent with his or her appraisal of the situation). You clearly do not accept that the captain could declare an emergency, or act in any other way he deems appropriate. Your sole justification is an - implied - threat (from "friendly aircraft" that may or may not know what is going on). None of which washes with me. Anything starting with "I thought..." used after the event is not good enough. "I ascertained that ... and then I .... " would be a better position from which to start.
I think we have both given this a good outing now and I'm happy to leave it at this point. It identifies the issues that need to be clarified as far as I am concerned.