Originally Posted by chopperchav
Anyone done any helicopter fishing in UK. If so, Where?
On a tour of Scotland, the Queen took a couple of days off to visit the west coast. Flying with her entourage along the golden sands, she noticed an enormous commotion. They landed and rushed to see what it was and upon approaching the scene the Queen noticed just outside the surf, a hapless man wearing a Glasgow Celtic jersey, struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 20 foot shark!
At that moment a speedboat containing three men wearing Glasgow Rangers tops sped into view. One of the men took aim at the shark and fired a harpoon into its ribs, immobilising it instantly. The other two reached out and pulled the Celtic fan from the water, and using long clubs beat the shark to death. They bundled the bleeding, semi-conscious man into the speedboat along with the dead shark and prepared for a hasty retreat, when they heard frantic calling from the shore......
It was the Queen calling them to the beach. On reaching land the Queen went to raptures about the rescue and said, "I give you a knighthood for your brave actions. I heard the people of Scotland were racist and trying to divide the country in two but now I see this is a truly enlightened example of tribal harmony which could serve as a model for other nations. She knighted them and then sped off to Balmoral for tea and scones.
As she departed the harpoonist asked the others, "Who was that?"
"That," one answered, "was the Queen. She rules Britain and knows everything about our country."
"Well," the harpoonist replied, "she knows **** all about shark fishing. How's the bait holding up, or do we need to get another one?"