Helicopter Humour
It is a funny world, perhaps we need to have a little chuckle at our own expense every once in a while.
Hence this thread:
Allow me to begin.
I have no idea who wrote this but it is funny.
The Life of a Helicopter Pilot:
Grand canyon tour,
> Get up at 4.30AM, drive 90 miles to the ditch, have 5th cup of
> coffee, preflight, pee, get in start up, load up the midwestern
> beefeaters, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30
> minutes, fly for an hour, fly for 30 minutes, fly for an hour.
> Can I have a break? No, ok, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30
> minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for 30 minutes. fly for 30
> minutes, fly for 30 minutes, fly for an hour, get out tie down,
> PEE, drive 90 miles home,eat, sleep, repeat.
>
> Hawaii tour
> See above but get to wear funky hawaii shirt and short...
>
> Offshore Oil:
> See above but the tourists smell bad and the river is a lot
> bigger...
> Tuna Boat:
> See above, but you get to chant: Where da fish, where da fish...
>
> Powerline patrol:
> See above but you get to say: tower one, tower two, tower 3,
> tower 4, tower 5......tower 496, tower 497, etc...
>
> Pipeline patrol:
> See above but you get to say: yup it's a pipeline. yup it's a
> pipeline, yup it's a pipeline, yup it's a pipeline. yup it's a
> pipeline,.....Sh# theres a wire, ok, yup it's a pipeline, yup
> it's a pipeline, yup it's a pipeline....
>
> EMS:
> Get to work, have 7th cup of coffee, preflight, pee,news, eat,
> sleep,eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, sleep, BEEP BEEP BEEP,
> motorcycle vrs a big rig, fly 20 minutes, load patient,
> Yuuuuuuko!!! That looks like it hurts, fly 20 minutes, off-load,
> debrief, eat, sleep, eat sleep, eat, sleep, go home...
>
> Logging:
> Get up at 5, have 3rd cup of coffee, preflight, comin up, log,
> log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log, log,log, Wipe up
> CP's puke,log,log,log,log,log,log,log,log,log,log,etc...Shut
> down go home drink a massive amounts of beer with hookers.
>
> Fire:
> Get up at 4 AM, drive an hour, have 9th cup of coffee, mission
> plan, you want to WHAT? Put on bucket go to fire. OH! big fire!
> Up down, turn around, fetch a pail of water, repeat 160 times.
> Shut down, wait untill 14 hours is over. Out of duty time, find
> tent, eat at base camp, visit little blue room, sleep up again,
> at 5am repeat...
>
> CFI:
> Get in at 9am, have 10 cups of coffee, 3 cigs,and wait for no
> shows, Non english speaking student shows up, preflifgt, flifgt
> SREAM: I HAVE THE CONTROLS!!, repeat 20 times, After hour
> flight, clean short, repeat 5 times, go home knowing your the
> pilot god that saved the R22 from the clutches of the student
> pilot, get on PC and type resume, yup getting 252.4 hours. look
> for way to get turbine time job with out flight time, go to
> sleep thinking how great it would be working as a real pilot!
>