Dunno about the hostie with the chipped tooth but I can certainly vouch for the Pilot with a Leatherman being a dangerous creature!! I prefer my trusty Swiss Army knife so I can get boy scouts out of horses' hooves!
"An optimist is a helicopter pilot who smokes and thinks they're going to die of lung cancer!"
Cheers
Whirls
It's not Mississippi Mud that's the problem with my banjo playing - it's my lack of talent!