You are right, some ATCO's don't understand the limitations of aircraft and need to be told so if they need to get you down, they need to let you out on the speed, or they keep you going at your current speed and descent rate and give you extra track miles to compensate for the increased ground speed due to the high winds you are still in. Either way though, you are flying the plane, and I would expect that if I give you something you find difficult or impossible to do (which I try not to do), that you would tell me.
What Ali is getting at is a very serious issue here in the Gulf. I very nearly had a very nasty one over Sharjah the other day between a QTR A330 and a BAW 747. The BAW 747 was maintaining FL380, and so the QTR out of Doha, eastbound to India somewhere, was initially climbed to FL370. With approximately 6 minutes to the cross and the QTR approaching FL350, I asked the pilot what his climb rate was and he told me 1000ft a minute. I asked him if he could maintain that climb rate until maintaining FL390 (his requested level). He said he could, so he was climbed to FL390 with the requirement to maintain a rate of climb of 1,000 ft or more until maintaining FL390. At FL376 he stopped climbing. He went 4 paints, about 15 seconds with no change in altitude. I asked him his climb rate and without even sounding apologetic he happily replied, 300 ft a minute. When queried about the requirement he replied again very nonchalantly that "well we are struggling to climb now so we had to reduce our rate of climb".
Now on this same sector we quite often have 5 or 6 aircraft on vectors for sequencing into Dubai, so we are not able to vigilantly monitor the meeting of requirements as we would like to. Because of this we need pilots to meet the requirements given to them, and if unable to make them to tell us in a timely manner. Is this an unreasonable expectation????
BTW, on having a new A-hole torn for him, the QTR amazingly found the ability to climb again and I maintained a standard, but after lots of sweating. Just not good enough. Not here or anywhere else. But if QTR (and yes GFA) are wanting to be world class airlines then they need to lift their standards dramatically.