You do appear to be a bit behind the drag curve. Assuming you get in soon you would be well into your 30s before you got operational with contemporaries pushing for wg cdr.
Your wife and family would not be a problem for the RAF. They could well be a problem for you. During IOT they own you body and soul. Weekends? These are the working days between Friday and Monday. Bank holidays? These are the days when the GBP has a day off. You may remember them after you graduate.
Difficult to get in, hard slog, and then even harder and harder.
The 12 year bit is in case guys don't want to go for the full career option and many can leave at 30-32 and start again. Several of them however will get picked up for promotion and offered further service. They will be on their second lap when you join. Don't let this put you off but your most dificult job will be convincing that you are committed and a low training risk. ATPL - interesting but that really is all.