Paddy and Mick are flying into LAX when an inflight causes them to declare an emergency. The nearest available runway is Edwards AFB, the largest runway in the world.
As they make a 3000fpm decent at near MTOW, they prepare for the landing, knowing they're on the limit, but safe in the knowedge that the runway is huge.
As they touch down thrust reversers rattle and scream and tyres are blown as they screech to a halt 4mm from the end of the tarmac.
As they gratefully survey the scene and thank their lucky stars, Paddy turns to Mick and says
"BeJeesus, Oi tought this was supposed to be a long runway- it's bloody well shorter than Kilkenny!"
Paddy replies "Aye, but look at the fookin width of it"!
