So very sorry to say that in my company you are all fired!
The Captain is the master of the ship. All others on board are nothing more than appendages of one function or another, mostly of rather a transitory nature whilst they decide what they are going to do for a living.
When my pet python is not in my flight bag; I always carry either a cosh or a handgun. Most senior cabin stewards of my acquaintance are more than familiar with the more obscure martial arts. Please may the hostesses stay with the drinks trolley and not involve themselves in more obfuscatorial matters.
