One from each side of the flight deck door:
What do pilots use for contraception?
Their personalities!
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How many crew does it take to serve the flight deck coffee?
100 - 1 to do it, and 99 to bitch in the galley about having to do it
Happy Flying All!
ps just to prove I am not biased either way, sometimes I think the 'contraception/personality' joke applies to both sides of the flight deck door!