Dear Beags,
As a former Wupert of a dung eating mob (which wegwettably has since been disolved after 300 years of glowious histowy) I can wecommend our Wegimental Hatters, Herbert Johnson, for pwoper orficers headgear. That is, if you chaps have any pwoper orficers! Of course it will cost a couple of hours flying pay, but qwality doesn't come cheap. At least it didn't when I was still in the saddle, Haw Haw!
As for the Eagle versus Albatwos debate, shouldn't it be a penguin? After all, there seem to be millions of you birdmen but we don't see many of you in the air these days?
By the way, despite being a dung-eater, I am not anti-Air Farce: I married one and sired another! Very proud of 'em too.
PS. What are chips?