Back-track. To those of you blissfully ignorant enough ( and I mean that in the nicest possible, trusting way) in the sane world of Blighty to think that Gulf Helicopters is ACTUALLY offering what it advertises in Flight International (it ought to be called FLIT International at Gulf helicopters, based on the number of experienced expat Captains and engineers who continue to leave the company as I write this tome), here starteth the first lesson!
1) Welcome to the La-La (as in Arabic: No!-No!) land of HR and ''senior management'' at Gulf Helis! When GHC advertises ''Attractive Package'' they are merely talking about what most of us see after we are paid crap, can't afford clothes and are left only holding our own
...ing "Attractive Packages"!
2) As my learned friend has previously advised, it's all a LOAD OF BOLLOCKS! Gulf Helis hasn't actually put up their new-Captain's pay significantly for 4 years (and in fact now pays less than it did four years ago- factoring in the rates of inflation and cost of living in Qatar since - that's even with the ("Now you see it - Now you don't") Currency Allowance - which will inevitably disappear down the Swannee River (just south of Qatar Airways Hangar at Doha Intl. Airport) when the priceless GM (i.e. everything can be got for a cheaper price) has recruited enough odd-ball, disenfranchised, grossly cheap and hugely underqualified North African Islamic gentlemen to fill the 412's driver's seats!
3) No, chaps - life is NOT all Sweetness and Light in the richest per capita country in the world! Far from it! If HH the Emir TRULY wants to know why all of his experienced and valuable expatriate professionals are leaving Qatar, he only has to watch the antics of wee Mr. Mohd M. as he over-meddles so hopelessly with his private train-set (GHC) using his finely-tuned 'Souk Mentality'' (i.e. his addiction to saving pennies and losing millions of pounds) until he inevitably de-rails the whole bloody shebang!
4) Further translation for interested applicants from Flit International: "VVIP Pilots wanted for S92 Operations" ACTUALLY means -- "Well guys, it's like this, we ARE getting ONE big ole S92, which if you join us thinkign you will fly, you will NEVER be allowed to sniff the paint of (being unworthy, an infidel and far too experienced), but Gulf Helicopters WILL shamelessly lie to you about this (and much else) and happily recruit you into the coal-face of the company's offshore 412 operations in Qatar (and Iran) on an 8/4 or 6/1 contract (4/4 ony in Iran as the man said previously), pay you ****, make you sign a huge f-ing BOND of about $40,000 US purely to get that utterly deceptive SNIFF of the S92 (- never to be sent on a training course or fly it, of course - it will only do about 120 hours a year), will promise to treat you increasingly badly (unless you are an Islamic Brother - because Gulf helicopters is a WHOLLY unbigoted, equal-opportunity (if not affirmative action) employer (NOT!), work you up to your maximum allowable duty and flight hours every week, (6 days on, 1 day off for 8/4 workers) gradually reduce all remaining contractual benefits, death insurance, paid sick leave allowance, local holiday entitlement and anything else that H.E. the White Ghost can come up with in his demented Master-Plan for 2006,7,8 (This was borrowed from Hitler's Plan for the Fourth Reich rising out of the ashes back in 1946).
5) Oh - and don't forget that perchance you will indubitably end up whilsting Dixie (or saying a few 'Hail Marys') as you gently flutter down towards the ogg on one engine and a large oath or prayer in some obscure spot 85 nms out to sea, - whilst back in the office the Senior Management (well, at least GM , Ch Eng & Ops Man) fiddle with themselves (or play golf all day) as Rome burns around them and the GHC hangar becomes more like a Souk alley workshop than a safe and professional aviation concern.
6) The future? Wow! - What a dreamer you are! Right now the company's survival is limited to a little over spitting distance. Some folks just need to experience total meltdown and abject company failure (or a major accident) before they finally bloody realize that SAFETY and INTEGRITY are the only acceptable foundation stones and essential concerns of any professional (and formerly renowned) International Helicopter company.
So boys - do you STILL want to work for Gulf Helis? If so, get your Funny Farm stall seat reservation at the door and bring your own Xanax!
