Wedding ring off...chat up hostie...eat soggy sandwich and take the piss out the captain's landing.
Phone bookie and place £10 on the 2.30 at Kempton Park.
Ogle the only female passenger with a pulse and full use of her limbs and parallel vison.
Scratch nuts while skipper does the walk round.
Fart.
Attempt to diperse fart.
Blame fart on skipper.
Get one number on your sudoku puzzle.
Depart five minutes late.
xx