Once I had an FO roarusly fart at FL350, but unfortunatly for him and his underwear it was a rather soggy one. Even from my seat I could hear the "splooch" but stayed poker-faced. So did he!
He sat there for 2 hours to Sai Gon stewing in his slop till at last we parked and he stood up - his butt was welded to the seat! He slowly got up and the breaking of the crust between the bottom of his dacks and the seat sounded like dry selastic stretching and crumbling.
The worst of it was after a hasty trip to the dunney he was just gonna leave the FO seat for the cleaners to discover and wipe up! Thats when I called in a cleaner (a sweet old lady from Pleiku) and got him to fully EXPLAIN to her what he done and what he wanted her to do. She nodded courteusly for a minute then suddenly blew the utter christ out of him and handed him a bucket and rag!
