2pissed, first thing is that you cant say the work pissed and mean drunk here in the USA, they will think you are really angry with them if you say that!
What Richard says above is still true, as a Oz pilot who just converted a ATPL to a FAA ATPL its true I am qualified to put my 2 cents worth forward. You can jump straight to a CPL based on your current licence level, BUT dont do it if you are coming here for a job ( ie you won the greencard lottery) or will work somewhere else on your newly acquired FAA licence. Reason is that its going to bite you on the ass later on, what I found from my real life experience is that you need to have ALL FAA licences from PPL onwards to apply for a job here, a lot of application forms online wont let you apply/hit submit unless you can fill in all the licence levels.
This is what I did:
Mandatory 3 hrs prep for PPL with instructor...
and another 3 hrs prep for the Instrument rating test.
Did the PPL and Instrument rating in a single engine, in one test
Plus there was a written test for the PPL and one for the IR, go to
www.sportys.com to have a practice, they have a free test prep section of their website,
Then is was 3 hrs CPL test prep, and 3 hrs for the Multi engine ride. Then after the CPL theory test, took a single engine CPL test and then got out and jumped in the PA44 for a multi engine add on to the CPL and a Multi engine instrument rating add on.
Then without any prep I went for the ATP checkride in a PA44, after doing the written for it.
Also the PPL, IR and CPL writtens need you to have a Flight instructor sign you off for them.
Try
www.faatest.com for your written prep.
Took me 5 weekends to do the above, as I was working for Richard at Naples at the time. Now flying a little Citation Ultra which is really really fun.
Have fun PM if you have any non forum questions about it all.