Some of my favorite things...
One morning we were delayed due to wx at destination, when this one fellow was going a bit spare. Bright sunshine at Myrtle Beach, so why were we going nowhere? Umm, thick fog in Charlotte, perhaps?
He accosted me to say that he was proceeding onwards from Charlotte to CHICAGO, on BUSINESS, so that he DEMANDED to know when we would be departing.
I just fixed him with a mild glance and told him that 'Man proposes and God disposes.' He probably figured me for a religious fanatic and left me alone after that.
When I would have pax giving me sh*t about delays on arrival in the Bahamas I used to tell them that I was delayed because 'Miami International had been closed due to an armadillo stampede.' No one ever questioned that one!