Oh Boy,
you sound depressed Buddy! That is pretty normal when long term plans fall to s#it. Many others have been there too. It will get better when you get up and find that other path to follow. In the same way that you got into flying, just reflect upon what you are passionate about, and do something along those lines. Anything! Spruce up, eat better and do some exercise - it all helps. You will get through the doldrums....push on.
You will always be a flyer at heart, it will always be possible for you. But can make better bucks elsewhere for a while. It does not matter what you do, as long as you do something.