You can try the diversity lottery program if you were born abroad or you or your wife are from Northern Ireland. (or Eire)
http://travel.state.gov/visa/immigra...ypes_1322.html
Or you can marry a US national and emigrate properly.
Or you can get a sponsorship (99.9% unlikely)
Or you can join the queue and try your luck over the Rio Grande at around 0230hrs
Other than that - Forget it