Odiham, early 90's, Sgt's mess late Friday night with more than a lot of beer consumed
Two fellow crewman in a penis envy contest were arguing as to who had the fastest car, one a large calibre Rover and the other a Colt Starion. After much banter it was decided the only way to find out whose was quickest was to find a nice long straight road (read Odihams main runway)
and give it what for. This proved inconclusive as neither car could edge the other and sufficient sobriety had prevailed.
Back to the mess for more beer and more banter. As the withcing hour approached two now completely drunken crewman decided that a re run was required however both had failed to realise the state they were in. Flashing down the runway looking across at each other neither realised the proximity of the rapidly appraoching piano keys. Realisation settles in both cars brake rapidly but it's too late. The Starion manages to grind to a halt embedded in the barbed wire perimeter fence but the Rovers inertia and crap brakes see it smash through the afore mentioned fence, hit a slight upslope, get airborne, sail across the main Odiham to Alton road and bury itself in mud at the base of the approach lights in the field opposite.
The Starion driver ended up with a 12 month ban for going to the Rover drivers aid and getting caught on the main road. The Rover driver escaped a ban as he was never actually on the public highway. The Starion required a paintjob whilst the Rover fetched 50 quid from a scrap dealer, and both got dicked a months pay by a very stern Staish.
Cracking night out Grommet!
All spelling mistakes are "df" alcohol induced