There has been far too little attention paid to the real hero of the situation. An appropriate article (perhaps from a reputable publication like People Magazine) would be something like:
'Busted Bomber Puts Kibosh on Champion Caribou Crew'
Shocking scenes were seen today when heroic Caribou aircrew were called upon yet again to save under-endowed Pig Pushers from major embarrassment when their stricken strike steed struggled to sustain a suitable standard of steering and stopping system integrity and blocked the main runway at Brisbane earlier today.
A spokesman for the generous and good-hearted gravel truck group, who cannot be identified for security reasons, said exclusively to our aviation reporter Mandy Mammatus: 'Show us your tits!', a request with which she was only too happy to comply, confiding afterwards: 'I wouldn't have done it for those jet plonkers, they're totally overrated!'.