Big Jugs.
Well, it's an interesting point. Someone new to command is going to take a while to settle in. Decisions have to be made and he/she won't always make the right ones but at the end of the day it's the Captain that will bear the responsibility, not you.
As regards some of your points. There may be a reason that the Captain in question suggested the order of service. Perhaps he has knowledge of something you don't; say forecast turbulence at a particular stage of the flight. Your remarks regards "totty" don't warrant response.
As for the "Respect is earned...." blah. Don't you think they have earned a measure of respect. The four stripes on his/her arm didn't come free in a cornflakes packet. They were achieved after years of experience, checks & assessment in a cockpit. It certainly took more than 16 days of self congratulation at braincrank!
At the beginning of the flight, we DO NOT all start at an equal level of rank and status and then "earn respect" as the flight progresses. There is a long established chain of command, the links of which seem to be weakening. Of course there are wrong and right ways of exercising that authority just as there different ways of interacting with our colleagues. I think extremely few people, on either side of the flight deck door intentionally go out to p!ss each other off.
One question. Why oh why do cabin crew refer to pilots as "The Flight Deck". It's a place for Bobs sake. Perhaps we should refer to you as "The Passenger Cabin"