OK, im going to point out the blindingly obvious and hilarious. It is evident from you post that indeed you are a very forthright and energetic chap, as I could almost feel myself running out of breath reading it.
Full stops are a GOOD thing, so maybe try and use them in your conversations as well. If you spoke like that towards anyone, then yes, chances are they are going to get just a teensy bit bemused by a torrent of words being thrown at them.
Generally, pilots don't really like to hear about the woes and aspirations of wannabees, as most likely it's depressing for them; you are not the first one they've met!!
Just chill when you talk, all they want to know is that you're a sound guy to talk to (and that you have just the one head!)
ETC