I am there already mate, modern technology does wonders I can follow the threads form my little PDA and reply, maybe you should get yourself one of these, they are quite handy, if you know how to use them of course! I can't see any F/D where are you boys?oops!
Just farted but I guess that's a fax!
Can you send one of your F/O's to clean up please someone spilt a beer on the floor, it must be one of those captains you know they can't handle drink!
You can't take these guys out I tell you!