My wife endured severe ear pain whenever we flew for many, many years. I've even had the experience of watching her banging her head against the seat in front, such was the pain. Various medics, including several of my AMEs, recommended decongestant sprays to snort at TOD. These helped a little. Then a few years back someone recommended EarPlanes - little ear plugs hich have some sort of built in valve to slow down the changes in pressure. They were miraculous and she now has no problems.. Pick them up at chemists or pilot shops..