Well, lets face it, there is no way on gods earth the Cancel Amateur Aviation can warrent the cost of a PPL issue. When I had mine in 1989 it was well over a hundred pounds then, so if they did offer a 'By Return'service they would be charging even more than a solicitor per hour. By taking weeks and weeks it seems as if somethking is actually done for the money.
By the way, does it still look as if it is printed on recycled brown paper?
I did hear a rumour that there was in fact only ONE individual that could wield the rubber stamp. and he used to do PPL's between other tasks.