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Old 13th Sep 2005, 22:33
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DaveyBoy
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Ah, I think the old favourites deserve an outing every now and then...

Sir Humphrey: Polaris is a ramshackle old system! The Soviets might easily develop a multi-layered ballistic missile defence system which could intercept Polaris.

Jim: By when?

Sir Humphrey: Well, in strategic terms, any day now.

Jim: By what year, precisely?

Sir Humphrey: 2020, but that's sooner than you think.

Jim: And are you saying that this nuclear defence system would stop all 192 Polaris missiles?

Sir Humphrey: Well no, not all. Virtually all. 97%.

Jim: So that would leave about five bombs that would get through?

Sir Humphrey: Precisely, a mere five.

Jim: Enough to obliterate Moscow, Leningrad, Minsk ...

Sir Humphrey: Yes, but that's about all!


...


Jim: It's a bluff, I probably wouldn't use it.

Sir Humphrey: Yes but they don't know that you probably wouldn't.

Jim: They probably do.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, they probably know you probably wouldn't but they can't be certain.

Jim: They probably, certainly know that I probably wouldn't.

Sir Humphrey: Yes, but even though they're probably certain you know you probably wouldn't they don't certainly know that although you probably wouldn't, there is no probability that you certainly would.

Jim: What?

...

Sir Humphrey: Bernard, what is the purpose of our defence policy?

Bernard: To defend Britain?

Sir Humphrey: No Bernard, it is to make the people think that Britain is defended.

Bernard: The Russians?

Sir Humphrey Not the Russians, the British! The Russians know it's not.
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