First of all you need the services of a friendly surgeon, being fw fraternity you will no doubt have membership of BUPA or someone or other. Get them to give you a partial frontal lobotomy. You are now part way there.
Next find an old washing machine and park it on an old, uneven surface. Sit on it and switch it on, whilst sat upon this bucking, mechanical broncho, start rubbing your stomach with one hand and patting your hand with the other. If you can manage this for 5 minutes without falling off or being sick, then you may want to consider the next step:-
Book a trial lesson in an R22, if you are larger than the average jockey and your instructor is anything but a Smurf, then after you after you have shoe-horned yourself ino the cab', you will then have an experience tantamount to what the Wright bros must have felt back in 1903, the thrill of being levitated into the air. It will feel unstable, unsafe and if you are lucky- like them, brief!
Why? Unless you are loaded and can buy your own. If you have a PPL, then £200 an hour to go nowhere slowly, seems a bit of a waste of time!