Septic this!
The Cultural Differences Between Aussies, Canadians, Americans and Brits
Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly ever be mistaken for anything else when abroad!
Aussies: Believe you should look out for your mates.
Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club.
Americans: Believe people should look out for and take care of themselves.
Canadians: Believe that it's the government's job.
Aussies: Are extremely patriotic to their beer. Sing loudly and off-key after drinking several beers; national anthem sounds like drunken snoring.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of ignorance and blindness. Their national anthem is an old British drinking song.
Canadians: Can't even agree on the words to their anthem in one language, let alone actually be bothered to sing it... except before SOME hockey games. No idea who composed it or their nationality.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform "God Save the Queen." Most couldn't carry a tune in a basket.
Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the "idiot box."
Canadians: Don't - unless it's "Hockey Night in Canada" - but sure as Hell would if they could get more American TV channels.
Brits: Pay a ridiculously high tax just so they can watch four channels, not a bloody one of them worth a damn.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no-one there watches anyway, to Britain, where everybody loves them.
Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about American football, baseball, and basketball. And the weather.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, football, and rugby. THEIR weather isn't WORTH discussing.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and MORE hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball. Their weather is best described as 9 months of winter and 3 months of bad skating.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the ****** Brits in every sport they play them in. Could give a big rat's arse about the weather.
Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English."
Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English."
Canadians: Spell like the Brits; pronounce worse than the Americans.
Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate" and a heavy accent to everything they say in an attempt to get laid.
Brits: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Aussies: Shop at home and have goods imported because they live on an island.
Americans: Cross their southern border for cheap shopping, gas, liquor and cigarettes in a backwards country.
Canadians: Cross their southern border for cheap shopping, gas, liquor and cigarettes in a backwards country.
Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer. Belch and fart a lot.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer. Too polite to belch; too poor to fart.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss. Afraid of the tax for belching; afraid to fart for fear of arrest for mocking the Queen clearing her throat.
Aussies: Will drink anything with alcohol in it, regardless of taste.
Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited traits or gifts from the Queen.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after a few beers.