BEagle, my money is on you being a killjoy.
Close all the non-official bars? RAM IT. They're the only thing that stops MPA actually being a prison. Other than the fact that prisoners are entitled to better accommodation standards and do less than 4 months.
Most of the really dodgy bars were closed ages ago on the first round of Morale Extraction after that bull***t article in a poorly informed Red Top tabloid. The rest are fighting for survival in an over-administrated, Big-Brother existance.
"S**tcan the Goose".........what?............ Were you not interesting enough to be invited to The Goose where 1435 Flt were having fun, making too much noise for you to watch your Betamax videos of Back To The Future?
The only thing dangerous about The Goose is the little bits of slightly jagged Mirage, A-4 and GR3 wreckage exibited in the place.
Ray.