I absolutely agree that ATC does have a responsibility to act beyond their rule book, and in fact do so quite regularly. I just think it's wrong and potentially ineffective to demand that they operate outside their rule books due to our errors.
I was reading (perhaps between the lines) that some were advocating leniancy on non-standard RT.
When we look back on an incident, such as the one that started this thread, it becomes quite difficult to say whether ATC was wrong or irresponsible when the issue could have been miscommunication. If ATC said anything to imply that they understood a non-standard situation had arisen and then did not confirm the status of the aircraft, then I would lean towards irresponsibility. On the other hand, if all the ATC responses sounded like typical handling of routine traffic, then perhaps their lack of emergency response was limited to the communication problem and nothing else. The reason the aircraft diverted might have been an indication...or not, need more details.
The reason that I've investigated incidents like this in the past has almost always been to prevent further occurrences rather than to assign blame. What I learn from this is the value of standard RT and to not always expect others to do things for me.
Matthew.