Attn: CHARTERPIRATE
Get hold of a copy of CAP 54 from the UK CAA at Gatwick for all the details involved in obtaining your CPL(H).
Bristows hiring (experienced) pilots in last week's Flight International and Bond will be crewing up big time next year as they've just won all of BP's North Sea work.
And to answer your first question last, yes, you are nuts. Good luck anyway.
Tip Cap