NATO Alert States
Doing the rounds at work:
"In a measured response to the terrorist activities in London, various NATO countries have taken the precaution of raising their alert states to counter any threat.
In France, the alert state has risen from “Aloof and haughty” to “Blame the British”. This was as a result of a terrorist attack on France’s leading manufacturer of white flags. There are only two higher alert states: “Capitulate totally” and “Collaborate”.
In Italy, the alert state rose from “Siesta time” to “Excited Military Posturing”. Advice is being sought on whether to raise the Italian alert state to “Ineffective Combat Operations” or ultimately to “Change Sides”.
In the USA the alert state rose from “Isolationism” to “Look for Arab Country ripe for regime change”. This can only be superseded by “Invade the entire world” and finally by “Ask the British for help”.
In Germany, the Chancellor raised the security state from “Goose stepping smartly” to “Look for lebensraum”. Again, there are only two higher states of alert: “Invade neighbour” and “Lose”.
Finally, in Britain the alert state was upped from “Ignore it, they’ll go away” to “make a cup of tea”. It is not known if this level will be raised to “Stoically Join Battle”, or ultimately, “Win”."
Roger Out.