No, seriously, the NAO identifies a major problem with the Armed Forces under-funding, under-equipping and overstretch. However, I have to agree with MOD that the report is a bunch of rubbish.
Everybody knows that the Armed Forces are adequately funded - well, you must be if you can afford to swan off to Poland [or wherever it was] for a farewell w/e. And what's this about losing an hour of training. Big deal. Get out of bed an hour earlier or on Saturday and problem solved.
Us civis know that life is good in the Forces - bags of allowances, fantastic pay and a fabulous welfare system and lots of great places to go. I mean, there was that video that the Army guys made in Iraq - they all looked happy enough, so how come there is a problem with morale? Some people moan at the slightest thing. Some of us would give our eye teeth to have a job where we get overseas with our mates for most of the year. Gets us away from the wife and kids and we can go on lots of right royal benders.
Nah, I reckon the Forces are like the trade unions of the 60s and 70s - got virtually everything and are greedy for more. You get the odd and very rare instance of an individual who is missing a bit of kit and because his wife moans to the Scum they see the potential for more sales and make it front page banner news.
You lot ought to be grateful that us taxpayers are prepared to put up with a poor and underfunded education system, long NHS waiting lists, shortage of police and large numbers of stealth taxes just to fund your tax-free salaries and luxurious lifestyle. I mean you get everything for free, don't you? - just be grateful and get on with it. So what if you have to work a bit harder? About time.
I reckon the Forces have got an in to the NAO, who are deliberately dfistorting the truth to make it look like this government are selling the Forces short. You've got Gucchi new airplanes, tanks, carriers, uniforms and so on, so stop being greedy, moaning and get on with whatever job our Prime Minister finds for you to do to make him look good on the world stage. After all, he and his wife work so hard on our behalf that they deserve nothing less.
[Hook in water, lies back on the riverbank in the sun, cold beer in hand waiting for a nibbil]