Good for you in going for what you want - it's a hard road and it's sure to be a long one, but you're starting out young which can only be good for your long term prospects. All the best of luck to you.
One tip though, while I can't imagine how horrible having arthiritis must be, I would strongly recommend against ever using the word suicide when talking to people connected with aviation and especially when around anybody connected with aviation medicine... even if you're using it as a figure of speech rather than being serious, implying that you've considered it before won't help your chances of passing that all important medical as aviation authorities don't want to take their chances putting somebody with suicidal tendencies into the flight deck. I mean no offence by this and I hope none will be taken.
Finally, it's been mentioned that the use of the English language on this forum isn't quite up to par - last time I checked Pprune was an international website used by international people. I don't think having a qualification in Queen's English is a pre-requisite for joining... (however I'll admit if I see innit written here I might lose all faith!!)
Have a nice day y'all, FJ2k