Don't worry, we knew you didn't mean it!
I am however very surprised that anybody involved with aviation would put profit and hassle above safety.
If I was asked whether I would go elsewhere, unless the alternate had far better facilities (and a better, cheaper pub) then I would be pretty annoyed once I was on the ground, whilst that wouldn't be directed at the controller (I would bet that not one ATC'er would dream of sending a damaged aircraft away to somewhere with lesser facilities) they should really tell the 'airport authorities' to stick it where the sun don't shine as you say.
It is all a bit academic though, it's not as if even the most idiotic 'airport authority' could stop you landing somewhere once you've declared an emergency. They've simply got to deal with it and the conseqeunces.
It may cause headaches, but in that situation, it's not something I'm really going to give a fig about.
Flyer flier, it looks as if you got away lightly with your 'moment', nicely done.