It is worth remembering that a thorough search of crew members at security is not an insult to the crew member concerned. As long as the whole world knows we are at least as thoroughly searched as passengers, the ungodly will know there is no point in holding our families hostage to make us carry stuff airside for them. If you think of the security staff as "the people who help protect my family" it makes it easier to enthusiastically cooperate with them.
In the case of the (thankfully rare, in my experience) abusive bully, maxalt's solution seems the best...