Checking of crews is, at times, over zealous, we all know that but then everyone has a bad day so a bit of give and take isn't such a bad thing; and, of course we don't have access to the security staffs' satnding orders or SOPs.
Now, having said that, how much 'give' and how much 'take' is apposite before the invisible line is crossed?
I was taught, for example, that it was prudent for a male crew member to observe the physical search ( padding down ) of female crewmembers after a series of checks were reported as alledgedley being overly intrusive and familiar. When my wife was selected at 'random' for a padding down on the airbridge at IAD, I stopped to watch, and got my ass chewed out by the security people.
I arrived at GLA, ferrying an airplane on a planned rotation to collect another, and was parked on an International stand. No transport available so we had to walk through the terminal to get to domestic to pick up the other jet. On the way through domestic security my flightbag was emptied and I was given a real going over by security, all in front of pax.
Also at own base I've been given a grilling and good going over even though they new me !!!
On the other hand, I have been through a few Italian airports where 'Bongiorno' seems to count as security clearance.
The standard patently isn't and the application of commonsense seems to have evaporated.
It's rather similar to who can access to the flightdeck, but that's another topic entirely!