Very demanding bergen run in the summer with our very Scottish DS.
Chap falls over and is unable to get up, holding his back with his hands. DS screams, “ What’s fu**ing wrang with you”?
Cadet replies gasping for breath, “It’s my kidneys Colour”.
“Aye” says the very Scottish Colour Sergeant, “Yer kidney be bothered” and with that ran off.
Apologies to all Scots for the written accent!!