Replies above much appreciated. Just to elaborate a bit, the PILOT IDEAL here isn't 'entirely" what I imagined or expected would become my life. I realise now that this just isn't the path I want to go down. My life is very empty here - only full of the BULL that's been thrown at me. I've tried making the best of things and being ++ve even ignoring the BULL but it sticks and stinks and has finally caught up with me. Reason I asked whether it got any better is from my viewpoint life at CX seems so predictable. Was hoping with my last few sane breathes that someone could give me a REAL reason to stay.
I visit my girl when I get the chance which isn't much. Gotta sort myself out before she lets me marry her.