Maybe we could compile our own version.
I'll start. Format: What you mean - What you write. Might be helpful (but less funny) if we offer positive phrases as well as negative ones?
Lazy sod - [n] is deeply committed to the principle of the conservation of effort.
Top bloke - [n] is well-respected by all who know him.
Notorious drunkard - [n] is renowned for the generous contributions to mess funds that accrue from his [her] full use of its liquid refreshments.
Never drops his [her] mates in the sh*t - [n] has a proven loyalty to his [her] colleagues.
adr