Blue light tax collectors
It all supports my crazy hypothesis that the Government actually likes and even seeks to encourage crime...
For example: Burglary - if you batter an intruder you end up paying a fortune for decent legal support, MPs are mostly lawyers by trade and so it makes work for their brethren. Of course all the fees are then taxed and that's good for the exchequer! Should the burglars get away, (and we are encouraged to let them), we have to claim on our insurance to replace our stolen goods. That means we pay VAT on the replacements, good for Mr. Brown's red briefcase again, and we're helping the economy by keeping all those stores in business, and their staff employed, off the dole queue and paying PAYE. Then of course our insurance company puts up our premium next year, increasing their revenues, and we pay more tax on that. Think of the drastic negative effect we'd have on the economy if we were allowed to shoot burglars!!!
As for elevating the eating of groceries at the wheel to a criminal level, obviously that's good too! It adds to the government statistics to show just how dangerous our roads are, yet another person not in proper control of their vehicle, the situation's getting worse (next year they'll add sneezing while steering to the list of hanging offences), obviously indicating that more needs to be done to clamp down on this dangerous trend and to issue more fines to teach us all a valuable lesson, that even after we've been robbed at the pump for 80% fuel duty, we're still duty bound to expect to provide revenue at every opportunity. It wont be long before they decide that broken down motorists need also be taught a severe lesson, it's obviously their fault that their vehicles are inadequately maintained, are causing an obstruction (slows down traffic of others seeking to do their bit for the economy by getting to work on time) and fines them too. Not only that, but those of us who suffer by being late for work because of them and our employers will be able to apply to their insurance companies for recompense, their insurance will go up and again, more cash in the government pot through the tax.
It's all a conspiracy, I swear it... pretty soon, they'll just abandon salaries and any kind of personal income and we'll all just be filiing expenses.
Si