This one just 2 days ago:
Lady student, very well spoken, with instructor - "Gxx on final"
Me: "Gxx clear to land runway xx Surface wind etc...."
Lady student: "Roger, Gxx cleared to land runway xx, Christ and s**t! I've really made a f...king bollox of this one, it was all going so sodding well, oh well guess you better take control, what a stupid cow I am, you have cont..." (Realises she's still transmitting).
Aircraft lands and vacates, returns to the hangar without another word. Just as well 'cos I was on the floor.
