You asked for it...
Aircraft recognition:
If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- either way, it's unsafe.
Cyclic:
If you push the cyclic left, the helicopter goes left.
If you push the cyclic right, the helicopter goes right.
That is, unless you keep pushing the cyclic all the way right, then you will probably go left while the helicopter swaps ends.
Collective:
If you push the collective down the houses get bigger. If you pull the collective up they get smaller. That is, unless you pull the collective all the way up, then they get bigger again.
Crashing:
Remember flying isn't inherently dangerous...crashing is.
The ground:
It's always better to be on the ground wishing you were in the air than in the air wishing you were on the ground.
Fuel:
The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
The rotor system:
The rotors are just big fans used to keep the pilot cool and his butt relaxed. If in doubt, watch. When they slow down you can actually see the pilot start sweating and pucker marks appear on the seat.
Altitude:
When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
Landings:
A 'good' landing is one you can walk away from.
A 'great' landing is one you can walk away from and use the helicopter again.
Getting busted:
They can't bust you if you're not there.
Mistakes:
Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
Parts:
If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.
Ideas:
Never run out of altitude, power and ideas at the same time
Disappointment:
A helicopter may disappoint any pilot but it'll never surprise a good one
Power:
When power is sparse, the probability of survival is inversely proportional to the rate of descent. Large rate of descent, small probability of survival and vice versa.
Your Brain:
Never let a helicopter take you somewhere your brain didn't go five seconds earlier.
Fog:
Stay out of fog. The single red light you think is a cell phone tower might be the starboard light of a docked boat.
Geometry:
Helicopters are a collection of parts flying in relatively close formation while all rotating around different axis. This arrangement works work well until one of the parts breaks formation.
Parking:
Always try to keep the number of times you park the helicopter equal to the number of times you've flown it.
The canopy:
If all you can see through your canopy is the direction you were previously traveling intermingled with sparks, and all you can hear is commotion from the passenger flying left seat, things are not at all as they should be.
Other Objects:
In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum and Plexiglass going dozens of miles per hour, and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for trees, water, buildings and larger animals. Draws don't count.
Judgment:
Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, experience usually comes from bad judgment.
Going Forward:
It's always a good idea to keep the transparent end going forward as much as possible.
Looking:
Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
Laws:
Remember, gravity and centrifugal force are not just good ideas.
They're laws not subject to repeal.
Hovering:
Hovering is for people who love to fly but have noplace to go.
Opinions:
Ask 6 helicopter pilots a question, and you're sure to get at least 7 different opinions.